THE STATS:
Separation from>> Equanimity (Balance)
I am >> Unique
Deadly sin >> Envy
Wings >> 3, 5
Movement Points >> 1, 2
Triad >> Emotion
Defense Mechanism >> Introjection
Pathological Dysfunction >> Bipolar/ Manic Depression
Other names >> The Seeker, The Artist

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Oh, Fours.
Perhaps the most well-known of all Enneagram types; TV, movies, and books are littered with Fours. After all, they ARE the most special and interesting!

Among archetypal Fours, Curt Cobain, James Dean, and Sylvia Plath*-Revered for their artistry and candid way of pushing the limit.

*I don’t want to imply, when I invoke the names of famous figures, that these people were definitively that type. Rather, they embody an archetypal characteristic that often makes said type easier to understand.

I’ve been teaching the Enneagram to mainly teenagers for a couple of years now. After every class, I am invariably cornered by at least one of my students. They always have this anxious, eager look in their eyes, like they have something life threatening to tell me.

They have been listening more or less quietly to my class, but with intent, hoping to crack the mystery of their own selves. Their hair is done up in colors and styles not found in nature, they’ve sometimes got bits of metal shoved through their face, and they wear T-shirts boasting their favorite bands. All their lives they have been misunderstood, and now I- yes, ME!- I finally understand their plight!

THEY feel hopelessly alienated!

THEY constantly search for true love!

THEY listen to The Cure!

“Ohmygod,” They tell me, barely able to get the words out of their mouths,

“I’m a Four!”

 

…You guys.

You are TEENAGERS.

As a teenager or young adult, it’s practically your JOB to feel different and misunderstood.

I’m not saying that some of you aren’t fours. You probably are, and that’s really cool! But dear God, please remember that scientific psychology today has come to a pretty consensus decision that your personality (AKA Frontal Lobe) is not fully developed until you are at least 21.

butbutbut…doesn’t this mean that anyone reading this blog under the age of 21 may as well throw away any chance of figuring out who they are?

Not really. Most people come into their character fairly early, it just doesn’t cement until you are biologically finished growing. Anyone under 21 or even 30 is still subject to some shift in priorities, and therefore type.

Almost everyone hits Four as a phase. For some people it lasts a year, and for others it becomes their whole being.

Type Four is one of my biggest reasons for the FAQ/Disclaimer page. So many people Just want to know who they ARE, damn it!

And in my opinion, the Enneagram is the best way to figure it out….But it is not by any means the quickest or easiest. So take your time when you’re trying to learn your type.

And read my FAQ page.

Now then.

Loathe as I am to admit it, Fours are undeniably drawn to the Enneagram for just these reasons. By nature, Fours are seekers, especially of their selves. One of their defining factors is the constant search for something more.

See, Fours have a little problem with depth perception.

Anything far away looks impossibly beautiful….

Meanwhile, what’s close up seems unbearably ugly.

Life becomes a constant struggle of push and pull:

“I loved him from a distance for all these years, but now that he’s here I see that he’s got bad breath, an ugly mole on his neck, and… what the hell is this tattoo?”

Their general dissatisfaction with reality makes Fours great critics. (Check out that move to One!) Which is totally handy if they actually are critics, but if you find yourself screaming to someone at 3 in the morning,

“NOTHING IS EVER GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU!!!!”

….That person might be a Four.

Although they may not admit it, or even cognitively know it, deeeeeeeeeep down, the Four loves this game. She has a life goal to experience every emotion there is, including total desolation.

They’re suckers for the roller-coaster that is life, and they’ll take it at every corkscrew and 90 degree angle. Even if you’re screaming in the seat next to them.

 

All at once, Fours are attracted to all things both beautiful and desolate.

Joy and sadness,

love and abandonment,

hope and despair.

Sometimes this gives the Four a bad rap. I often hear them described as the SAD type, which really isn’t fair. They just happen to be the only type that is truly comfortable with their sadness.

(So there.)

All the same, it’s not a secret that many Fours struggle with depression. As we all know, such a thing can become a gaping black hole very quickly, especially to this type. Sadness is like an enchanted, poisonous perfume- Oddly attractive, even though the Four is quite aware of the dangers of excessive lament.

So, now that we’ve revealed many of the less appetizing facets of a Four, let’s talk about

Healthy Fours

They’re fairly easy to find, but usually care less for the limelight than their unhealthier brethren. They tend to be

• Deeply empathetic
• Kindhearted
• Spiritual in one way or another
• Emotionally aware
• Creative thinkers
• Active in body and/or mind

You may also be familiar with their title of Artist. This is not meant to imply that in order to be a Four, you have to specialize in something artistic. Rather, Fours consider their whole life, and sometimes body, a piece of art.
This can have pros…

And cons.

Oh yes, you now realize, I’ve seen them dotted along teen culture everywhere. Particularly in the emo genre, but also in scene, hipster, steampunk, hippie, and any other bizarre subculture you can think of.

Even, to some degree, punk. That’s right, hippies and punks. I just lumped you together.

Fours detest the mainstream, and will try anything to free themselves of this disgusting river of sameness. Hair color, makeup, subversive ideology- It’s all fair game to the monotony-hating Four.

To sink into the beautiful, melancholic world of a Four for a while, turn on the radio to any station. I guarantee you that 90% of the songs you hear were written by or about Fours.

Not satisfied? You want to know SPECIFICALLY what kind of music to look for? Well, any of the following should give you a pretty good idea:

Sarah McLaughlin (Angel)

Brandi Carlile (Josephine)

Leonard Cohen (Alexandra Leaving)

Ani DiFranco (Grey)

Tracy Chapman (Happy)

The Cure (Pictures of You)

(Click here for the real-life playlist)

If you’re weeping uncontrollably by the end of the song, it’s done its job.

So next time you need to get in touch with your feelings a little, ring up a Four and ask for their playlist. If you ARE that four with the crisis-inducing playlist, tell me what’s on your iPod!

Hell, if you’re NOT a Four, tell me what’s on your iPod! Hit me up, people!